A million years ago, I wanted to drop everything and just write, draw and publish my own comic. I was 17, fresh out of school living out of my parent's attic. I had the time and the somewhat mediocre artistic talent. But most importantly, I had a dream of becoming the next Stan Lee or Todd McFarlane or even (God help me!) Erik Larsen.
I figured, what's so hard about it? There's the characters, a story, some plots, 22 pages of comic art and at least a gajillion dollars to publish it.
Yes. A gajilion dollars. Obviously I needed a cheaper dream.
Now, the point to all the meandering nostalgia is this - I just read 2 unsettling blogs about a friend (acquaintance? shop guy? dunno) who realized his dream to have his name printed on the credits of a comic book. According to those blogs, apparently, this friend of mine is in a rather uncompromising pile of dog doo. In non-excrement terms, he owes people money for completed comic jobs.
At first he was really enthusiastic about his 'publishing' house and books. I'd go to his shop and we'd talk about them. He'd tell me about the artists he spoke to and the publishing loop-de-loop he had to go through to get a comic out. To me, at that time, this guy was living my dream.
Normally after talking to him, I'd go home and tell my wife that I wished I was brave like this guy. He knew what he wanted and he went for it. My wife (who is obliged to support me on every idiotic idea per our contract signed in blood) told me to go for it. The result was a 1 page summary of a story now rotting in my personal folder in the office computer. But that's a story for another time. Back to my friend.
My friend published approximately 2 ashcans and 8 issues. That's 2 ashcans and 8 issues more than what I published. So my initial reaction was - wow! Look at that. He did it.
But lately he seemed very distant and cold. I'd go to his shop and he no longer talks to me. At first I thought he was mad at me for cancelling a lot of titles from my pull list (Look kids! A comic nerd jargon). Could be. Just look at that new comic price. $3.99 cover price for a 22 page story?
It turned out that he and his business partner owed people a lot of money. His comics tanked. The whole comics community has been warned not to do business with them. And worse of all, I've got most of their comics and original art, hoping that they would increase in price. Dammit!
The serious side to this dream is this - there is no guarantee of success. The pessimist in me would have said, "Hah! I knew this would happen". But the optimist in me would have said," Hah! I knew this would happen. But we get up and give it another good, old fashion school boy try".
My friend did his best to achieve his dreams. So what if he's knee deep in smoking, scorching horse dung. He did it because he loved it. He can always get up and get out of said dung.
In life, any thing worth dreaming is something worth fighting for (I think Prof X said this in the X-Men movie). Just because I'm a shitty assed coward doesn't mean every one else has to be one. If someone wants something bad enough, then take the plunge. See if you float.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
P(i)K(i)R betul2 (Think Carefully) Ummm..NO!
I don't like politics. I really don't.
But I don't like people who, in their need to pursue their political agendas and beliefs, impose upon others ideas that don't make sense. People who try to show to others how wrong one side is by using ideas from biased sources.
Amnesty International.
Last week, a friend of mine showed this link, a report on Malaysia saying Malaysians are racists. Especially the Government and the bumiputras. Really?
This coming from an organization that won't even recognize Palestine as a country. Rather, Palestine is just an authority.
I went on to read more of these so-called 'independent' reports. I am not conviced.
Racism
How do we measure racism? Do we even need to? How do we categorize racism, or racists for that matter?
Let's do some examples:
First Example
Person A works in Company 1. Person B also works in Company 1. Person A works as hard as Person B. Both are likable. However, come promotion time, only Person A got promoted.
Consider these suppositions:
1. Person A is a bumiputra and Person B is a non-bumiputra.
2. Company 1 is a Government-linked Company.
3. Both Person A and Person B's bosses are bumiputras.
Now consider these suppositions:
1. Person A is a non-bumiputra and Person B is a bumiputra.
2. Company 1 is a multi-national company.
3. Both Person A and Person B's bosses are non-bumiputras.
Which scenario best describe racism?
Second Example
State A wants to open a tender for a billion ringgit construction project.
The 2 quotes that made the shortlist came from Company A and Company B.
Company A is a bumiputra company. Company B is a non-bumiputra company.
Consider these suppositions:
1. Company A is a turnkey company who employs a group of construction companies consisting of bumiputra and non-bumiputra companies to perform the construction.
2. Company B does everything themselves.
3. Both companies bid more or less the same amount.
State A choses Company A.
Does this mean State A is using the affirmative action to favor a bumiputra company?
Third example
A school canteen is looking for fruit suppliers to supply fruits daily for the students. Two companies bid for the tender.
Company A is a bumiputra company. Company B is a non-bumiputra company.
After considering both tenders, the school canteen chose Company B because it had the lowest quote, therefore the best bid.
Now consider these suppositions:
1. Company A got the fruits from non-bumiputra suppliers who charges the market rate for the fruits.
2. Company B got the fruits from non-bumiputra suppliers who charges lower than market rate for the fruits.
3. With the price quoted, Company A made 10% profit while Company B made 30% profit.
Did the school canteen benefit from the tender?
Going back to Amnesty International, the report did not give in-depth details as to how the report was researched. At no point did the report say in detail why they considered the affirmative actions were racist, other than saying the Government favored bumiputras.
My examples may be simplified. There should be other considerations in order to come up with 'right' answers. There might even be no 'right' answers.
However, to accept such a report as proof of the Government's shortcomings would be naive and downright premature.
Personally, I think the people controlling the Government now are dicks. But the alternatives are also dicks. Either way, the country is screwed. But I sincerely believe the Malaysian people are mature enough to govern themselves and not blame everything on the Government. Whether it's the old Government or the new one, it's up to the People of the country to stand up and be counted.
That's just my honest opinion. Don't take my word for it. Do your own homework and draw your own conclusions. Mine's just not conclusive as yet. Only time will tell.
But I don't like people who, in their need to pursue their political agendas and beliefs, impose upon others ideas that don't make sense. People who try to show to others how wrong one side is by using ideas from biased sources.
Amnesty International.
Last week, a friend of mine showed this link, a report on Malaysia saying Malaysians are racists. Especially the Government and the bumiputras. Really?
This coming from an organization that won't even recognize Palestine as a country. Rather, Palestine is just an authority.
I went on to read more of these so-called 'independent' reports. I am not conviced.
Racism
How do we measure racism? Do we even need to? How do we categorize racism, or racists for that matter?
Let's do some examples:
First Example
Person A works in Company 1. Person B also works in Company 1. Person A works as hard as Person B. Both are likable. However, come promotion time, only Person A got promoted.
Consider these suppositions:
1. Person A is a bumiputra and Person B is a non-bumiputra.
2. Company 1 is a Government-linked Company.
3. Both Person A and Person B's bosses are bumiputras.
Now consider these suppositions:
1. Person A is a non-bumiputra and Person B is a bumiputra.
2. Company 1 is a multi-national company.
3. Both Person A and Person B's bosses are non-bumiputras.
Which scenario best describe racism?
Second Example
State A wants to open a tender for a billion ringgit construction project.
The 2 quotes that made the shortlist came from Company A and Company B.
Company A is a bumiputra company. Company B is a non-bumiputra company.
Consider these suppositions:
1. Company A is a turnkey company who employs a group of construction companies consisting of bumiputra and non-bumiputra companies to perform the construction.
2. Company B does everything themselves.
3. Both companies bid more or less the same amount.
State A choses Company A.
Does this mean State A is using the affirmative action to favor a bumiputra company?
Third example
A school canteen is looking for fruit suppliers to supply fruits daily for the students. Two companies bid for the tender.
Company A is a bumiputra company. Company B is a non-bumiputra company.
After considering both tenders, the school canteen chose Company B because it had the lowest quote, therefore the best bid.
Now consider these suppositions:
1. Company A got the fruits from non-bumiputra suppliers who charges the market rate for the fruits.
2. Company B got the fruits from non-bumiputra suppliers who charges lower than market rate for the fruits.
3. With the price quoted, Company A made 10% profit while Company B made 30% profit.
Did the school canteen benefit from the tender?
Going back to Amnesty International, the report did not give in-depth details as to how the report was researched. At no point did the report say in detail why they considered the affirmative actions were racist, other than saying the Government favored bumiputras.
My examples may be simplified. There should be other considerations in order to come up with 'right' answers. There might even be no 'right' answers.
However, to accept such a report as proof of the Government's shortcomings would be naive and downright premature.
Personally, I think the people controlling the Government now are dicks. But the alternatives are also dicks. Either way, the country is screwed. But I sincerely believe the Malaysian people are mature enough to govern themselves and not blame everything on the Government. Whether it's the old Government or the new one, it's up to the People of the country to stand up and be counted.
That's just my honest opinion. Don't take my word for it. Do your own homework and draw your own conclusions. Mine's just not conclusive as yet. Only time will tell.
Monday, February 16, 2009
OTBL - The Malay Plague
Believe me when I say this: I hate OTBL (Orang Tak Boleh Lebih) (Other people can't have more).
I hate the fact that some people will always try to bring you down just because they don't have what we have. Just because they feel inferior to someone else doesn't mean they are inferior. And just because someone has something you don't have, doesn't mean that you are worse off. So grow up!
I have a friend who has been saving up his money since forever. He said he wanted to buy a car. You know, that luxury car with the hippie sign at the front. He worked hard for it. He saved his monthly pay. He fasted. Now, nearly size Skeletor, he finally get to buy the car.
When he brought back his car to his house, his neighbor came over. This neighbor saw the car and said to him, "You boleh la beli. You kerja bagus. Gaji besar." (Of course you can afford this. You have a good job that pays well). So my friend told his neighbor, "Alhamdulillah. Dah rezeki" (Praise God. It's a blessing). Then the neighbor left. My friend never thought about it after that His dream of owning a luxury car has come through.
A few days later, another neighbor came over. This neighbor, without shame and apparently annoyed, asked my friend,"Kenapa awak beli kereta ni? Awak nak menunjuk ke? Orang-orang kat sini tak mampu beli kereta macam ni" (Why did you buy this car? Are you showing off? People here can't afford cars like this).
My friend asked, "Kenape cik cakap macam tu? Saya kerja keras dan simpan duit dari umur saya 10 tahun nak beli kereta ni." (Why do you say that? I worked hard and saved since I was 10 to buy this car)
And the neighbor said, "Hari tu, si polan sebelah rumah tu kate awak menunjuk-nunjuk depan die. Mentang-mentang la die tu kerje gomen aje. Sampai hati awak buat kat dia macam tu. (The other day, the other neigbor said you were showing off in front of him. Just because he's a lowly government servant doesn't mean you can do that to him)
Imagine my friend's surprise when he heard that. What did he do that would make the other neighbor say those things to the rest of the neighborhood? He's damned if he did and damned if he didn't.
Okay, I might have fabricated this story but that doesn't mean I never fell victim to OTBL. There have been instances when I did or bought something, just for my own pleasure, and out of the blue someone comes over and make strange remarks about my actions. And the way the person said it was as if I did something wrong when I really didn't.
So beginning today, if someone has the case of OTBL and come to me to bring me down, I will tell them off. I will not suffer fools and there is zero tolerance for idiots.
I hate the fact that some people will always try to bring you down just because they don't have what we have. Just because they feel inferior to someone else doesn't mean they are inferior. And just because someone has something you don't have, doesn't mean that you are worse off. So grow up!
I have a friend who has been saving up his money since forever. He said he wanted to buy a car. You know, that luxury car with the hippie sign at the front. He worked hard for it. He saved his monthly pay. He fasted. Now, nearly size Skeletor, he finally get to buy the car.
When he brought back his car to his house, his neighbor came over. This neighbor saw the car and said to him, "You boleh la beli. You kerja bagus. Gaji besar." (Of course you can afford this. You have a good job that pays well). So my friend told his neighbor, "Alhamdulillah. Dah rezeki" (Praise God. It's a blessing). Then the neighbor left. My friend never thought about it after that His dream of owning a luxury car has come through.
A few days later, another neighbor came over. This neighbor, without shame and apparently annoyed, asked my friend,"Kenapa awak beli kereta ni? Awak nak menunjuk ke? Orang-orang kat sini tak mampu beli kereta macam ni" (Why did you buy this car? Are you showing off? People here can't afford cars like this).
My friend asked, "Kenape cik cakap macam tu? Saya kerja keras dan simpan duit dari umur saya 10 tahun nak beli kereta ni." (Why do you say that? I worked hard and saved since I was 10 to buy this car)
And the neighbor said, "Hari tu, si polan sebelah rumah tu kate awak menunjuk-nunjuk depan die. Mentang-mentang la die tu kerje gomen aje. Sampai hati awak buat kat dia macam tu. (The other day, the other neigbor said you were showing off in front of him. Just because he's a lowly government servant doesn't mean you can do that to him)
Imagine my friend's surprise when he heard that. What did he do that would make the other neighbor say those things to the rest of the neighborhood? He's damned if he did and damned if he didn't.
Okay, I might have fabricated this story but that doesn't mean I never fell victim to OTBL. There have been instances when I did or bought something, just for my own pleasure, and out of the blue someone comes over and make strange remarks about my actions. And the way the person said it was as if I did something wrong when I really didn't.
So beginning today, if someone has the case of OTBL and come to me to bring me down, I will tell them off. I will not suffer fools and there is zero tolerance for idiots.
My Star Wars and GI Joe "action figures"
Whenever I watch Eric Forman ( from The 70s Show) playing with his faux vintage Star Wars action figures, he reminds me of me when I played with those so-called dolls back in the 80's.
Ah, how I keep hearing Red Forman yelling at Eric. He'd scream,"Stop playing with those dolls!". And Eric would yell back, "They're action figures. Action figures!". And I quietly say,"Way to go, Eric. You tell that bald headed nincompoop." My dad would not have screamed at me like Red did. Only because I went out to play sports once in a while rather than play with those 'action figures' all day long. But I knew he didn't approve of me playing with dolls. Albeit dolls with lightsabers and guns.
What prompted this ridiculously self-indulgent trip through memory lane? What made a grown man think back to those wonderfull time playing with Luke, Han and Leia in the Millenium Falcon?
Well, lately I've been surfing eBay a lot. I saw how much a Star Wars 1977 Luke Skywalker action figure, Mint-on-card (MOC), graded by the Action Figure Authority (AFA) as 85 is going for. $2,750 a pop. $2 grand for a 3 3/4 inch of plastic. Wow!
And to think I played with mine. Burrying it in the sand. Ramming it with a radio controlled car. Running over it with a bicycle. And it only cost me RM3.50 back then. I hate myself now.
Ah, how I keep hearing Red Forman yelling at Eric. He'd scream,"Stop playing with those dolls!". And Eric would yell back, "They're action figures. Action figures!". And I quietly say,"Way to go, Eric. You tell that bald headed nincompoop." My dad would not have screamed at me like Red did. Only because I went out to play sports once in a while rather than play with those 'action figures' all day long. But I knew he didn't approve of me playing with dolls. Albeit dolls with lightsabers and guns.
What prompted this ridiculously self-indulgent trip through memory lane? What made a grown man think back to those wonderfull time playing with Luke, Han and Leia in the Millenium Falcon?
Well, lately I've been surfing eBay a lot. I saw how much a Star Wars 1977 Luke Skywalker action figure, Mint-on-card (MOC), graded by the Action Figure Authority (AFA) as 85 is going for. $2,750 a pop. $2 grand for a 3 3/4 inch of plastic. Wow!
And to think I played with mine. Burrying it in the sand. Ramming it with a radio controlled car. Running over it with a bicycle. And it only cost me RM3.50 back then. I hate myself now.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Damn that lovey dovey song.
I am not a romantic guy.
I don't do lovey dovey things. Really. But then my wife kind of introduced me to this song, "Semoga Abadi" by Misha Omar (Ok. That's it. You people giggling at the back, please leave!) And the words from the song are mirroring my love life.
The way I first met my wife 17 years ago (seriously) and how our lives intertwined without us ever meeting again until 2005. There were instances where we briefly passed each other at her home in Keramat and then again in the lobby of Wisma Sime Darby in KL. Somehow we are destined to be together.
I don't like reminiscing about the old days. Bad memories. But when I put the pieces together, I saw the way God shaped my path from that scrawny kid from the suburbs of Kuala Lumpur to this fat blob living on an island. And all the way, I see how God gave me little nudges and subtle hints to get here.
So I thank God for my wife. And for that lovey dovey song. Now I have to go hide my head in the sand.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
To A Forgotten Cousin
My cousin died today.
He was 34 years old. The scientific reason why he died was - he had pneumonia. But really, his body just gave up. He was just too tired to continue living.
My cousin was a very quiet person. If you're in a room with him, you'll hardly notice he's there at all. He had very little to say to anybody and people just left him alone.
And there lies the biggest mistake we ever made. We left him alone.
In retrospect, even if he didn't have anything to say, people should have treated him with respect. After all, he was a decent guy. He never bothered anybody. He never did anything to hurt anyone. I bet, if we asked him for help, he wouldn't have disappointed. The problem was, nobody asked him for anything.
He didn't do well at school. He didn't get a good job. He didn't make any good friends. But he tried. He took on jobs that was not for him. Carrying heavy stuff. Doing odd jobs. It was the best he could do. Yet nobody noticed.
I guess in the end, getting pneumonia was the only way to get people to notice him. At least when he was at the hospital, people knew who he was. And when everyone was gathered around him, he did the thing that would really remind people of who he was. He died.
I didn't think about him today before I received the call from my mum. In fact, I haven't thought about him since I invited him to my wedding. He didn't come because of work. But I didn't even noticed his absence. I admit, with all my heart, I am wrong to have treated him the way I did. And for this I am sorry. For all its worth. May he forgive me.
He was 34 years old. The scientific reason why he died was - he had pneumonia. But really, his body just gave up. He was just too tired to continue living.
My cousin was a very quiet person. If you're in a room with him, you'll hardly notice he's there at all. He had very little to say to anybody and people just left him alone.
And there lies the biggest mistake we ever made. We left him alone.
In retrospect, even if he didn't have anything to say, people should have treated him with respect. After all, he was a decent guy. He never bothered anybody. He never did anything to hurt anyone. I bet, if we asked him for help, he wouldn't have disappointed. The problem was, nobody asked him for anything.
He didn't do well at school. He didn't get a good job. He didn't make any good friends. But he tried. He took on jobs that was not for him. Carrying heavy stuff. Doing odd jobs. It was the best he could do. Yet nobody noticed.
I guess in the end, getting pneumonia was the only way to get people to notice him. At least when he was at the hospital, people knew who he was. And when everyone was gathered around him, he did the thing that would really remind people of who he was. He died.
I didn't think about him today before I received the call from my mum. In fact, I haven't thought about him since I invited him to my wedding. He didn't come because of work. But I didn't even noticed his absence. I admit, with all my heart, I am wrong to have treated him the way I did. And for this I am sorry. For all its worth. May he forgive me.
I Was Right
I told you I don't speed when I'm on my bike. And I was right.
The police officer who gave me the traffic ticket tried to call me on Tuesday but I was sick and couldn't go to the office. So he left me a couple of messages.
On the morning when I got back to the office, there were 13 missed calls. Two of them were from my wife who tried calling me at home but dialled my office instead. Two calls were work related. And the rest were from a number I didn't know.
And there were 4 messages. 2 were work related. When I retrieved the first of the non-work related, it sounded scratchy. Like mumbling. All I heard was the word, Mr Hamid (my surname) and ticket. My first thought went to the raffle ticket I got when I bought a fan at Master's. But then I remembered I never win anything. So I retrieved the last message. The voice on the message said, "Ahem! Mr Hamid, this is Officer "Toot", (name withheld on account of me not wanting any trouble with the police) calling in reference to your ticket. Please give me a call at xxx-xxxx."
Before I could call him back, the phone rang and it was the officer. He told me that there was another black coloured bike on that stretch of road that did the 71 kmh. The bike had made a turn before the junction where the officer was waiting and there I was, happily moving at a crawl, getting pulled over for a speeding charge.
I admit, if I were not sick that day, I would've said bad things to the officer. But, lucky for me, I wasn't in the mood to tell people off. So I said, "Ok. That's fine. So can you send me an email and write down what you just said?" He said he couldn't because he was not near a computer. But he told me to send an email to him. He gave me his email address.
This is not the end of the story but this is where I tell the moral of the crap I just told you. Don't let anyone treat you as guilty if you know you're innocent. It almost happened to me. I almost went to the police station to pay for the ticket. Good thing I got sick though. If you didn't do the crime, don't take the blame. Nuff said.
The police officer who gave me the traffic ticket tried to call me on Tuesday but I was sick and couldn't go to the office. So he left me a couple of messages.
On the morning when I got back to the office, there were 13 missed calls. Two of them were from my wife who tried calling me at home but dialled my office instead. Two calls were work related. And the rest were from a number I didn't know.
And there were 4 messages. 2 were work related. When I retrieved the first of the non-work related, it sounded scratchy. Like mumbling. All I heard was the word, Mr Hamid (my surname) and ticket. My first thought went to the raffle ticket I got when I bought a fan at Master's. But then I remembered I never win anything. So I retrieved the last message. The voice on the message said, "Ahem! Mr Hamid, this is Officer "Toot", (name withheld on account of me not wanting any trouble with the police) calling in reference to your ticket. Please give me a call at xxx-xxxx."
Before I could call him back, the phone rang and it was the officer. He told me that there was another black coloured bike on that stretch of road that did the 71 kmh. The bike had made a turn before the junction where the officer was waiting and there I was, happily moving at a crawl, getting pulled over for a speeding charge.
I admit, if I were not sick that day, I would've said bad things to the officer. But, lucky for me, I wasn't in the mood to tell people off. So I said, "Ok. That's fine. So can you send me an email and write down what you just said?" He said he couldn't because he was not near a computer. But he told me to send an email to him. He gave me his email address.
This is not the end of the story but this is where I tell the moral of the crap I just told you. Don't let anyone treat you as guilty if you know you're innocent. It almost happened to me. I almost went to the police station to pay for the ticket. Good thing I got sick though. If you didn't do the crime, don't take the blame. Nuff said.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)