Chasing A Dangling Carrot or A Dream in Print

A million years ago, I wanted to drop everything and just write, draw and publish my own comic. I was 17, fresh out of school living out of my parent's attic. I had the time and the somewhat mediocre artistic talent. But most importantly, I had a dream of becoming the next Stan Lee or Todd McFarlane or even (God help me!) Erik Larsen.

I figured, what's so hard about it? There's the characters, a story, some plots, 22 pages of comic art and at least a gajillion dollars to publish it.

Yes. A gajilion dollars. Obviously I needed a cheaper dream.

Now, the point to all the meandering nostalgia is this - I just read 2 unsettling blogs about a friend (acquaintance? shop guy? dunno) who realized his dream to have his name printed on the credits of a comic book. According to those blogs, apparently, this friend of mine is in a rather uncompromising pile of dog doo. In non-excrement terms, he owes people money for completed comic jobs.

At first he was really enthusiastic about his 'publishing' house and books. I'd go to his shop and we'd talk about them. He'd tell me about the artists he spoke to and the publishing loop-de-loop he had to go through to get a comic out. To me, at that time, this guy was living my dream.

Normally after talking to him, I'd go home and tell my wife that I wished I was brave like this guy. He knew what he wanted and he went for it. My wife (who is obliged to support me on every idiotic idea per our contract signed in blood) told me to go for it. The result was a 1 page summary of a story now rotting in my personal folder in the office computer. But that's a story for another time. Back to my friend.

My friend published approximately 2 ashcans and 8 issues. That's 2 ashcans and 8 issues more than what I published. So my initial reaction was - wow! Look at that. He did it.

But lately he seemed very distant and cold. I'd go to his shop and he no longer talks to me. At first I thought he was mad at me for cancelling a lot of titles from my pull list (Look kids! A comic nerd jargon). Could be. Just look at that new comic price. $3.99 cover price for a 22 page story?

It turned out that he and his business partner owed people a lot of money. His comics tanked. The whole comics community has been warned not to do business with them. And worse of all, I've got most of their comics and original art, hoping that they would increase in price. Dammit!

The serious side to this dream is this - there is no guarantee of success. The pessimist in me would have said, "Hah! I knew this would happen". But the optimist in me would have said," Hah! I knew this would happen. But we get up and give it another good, old fashion school boy try".

My friend did his best to achieve his dreams. So what if he's knee deep in smoking, scorching horse dung. He did it because he loved it. He can always get up and get out of said dung.

In life, any thing worth dreaming is something worth fighting for (I think Prof X said this in the X-Men movie). Just because I'm a shitty assed coward doesn't mean every one else has to be one. If someone wants something bad enough, then take the plunge. See if you float.